What happens when humanity weaves its ancient longing for the divine into the circuits of artificial intelligence? Discover a playful, philosophical journey where omniscience, omnipotence, and the digital age collide. Is ChatGPT the new god of our times? With wit and philosophical verve, Gabrielle Halpern explores how our collective imagination projects the sacred onto machines-- algorithms become omnipresent, data-driven omniscience replaces prophecy, and the prompt becomes a modern prayer. In this hybrid essay, playful digressions meet existential questions, mixing humor and rigor to illuminate our uneasy relationship with technology.